Day 1

Subjective reality. That's basically what it comes down to. There is only one moment and your feelings change from day to day and month to month. I want to start tracking my feelings, hence it's time to start a blog. Here perhaps, will be a map of my life.

Today I spent time with the interesting and outgoing side of my family, Jean, Janine and Philip. It's been cool to have them down here. They seem to really dig it that I'm playing poker professionally, Philip especially. Jean is a very talented musician, so the two first sons have ended up with interesting jobs.

I didn't have as much as a blast as I would have liked to though. I've possibly developed panic disorder from a Marijuana overdose 1.5 months ago and life feels strange at the moment. If Jean was down here 2 months ago I would have taken him out every night and we would have partied our asses off I'm sure. As things are now I've reverted back to being a health freak and obsessing about sunlight, exercise and diet.

My days seem to be centred around making my vegetable juice and smoothies, doing my exercise, making sure I get to spend some time outside, driving around like a mad thing in search of ingredients to cook healthy recipes and doing beserker like research online about health. Of course this confuses my poor little brain because all the health "experts" have different idea's and opinions on what's right and wrong.

At the moment I seem to be going for the high protein and low carb style diet. I'm feeling a little moody at the moment and getting the night itches again.

The highlight of the day (apart from seeing my family) has been researching wheatgrass again, that's the next step for me in my quest for health, drinking shots of wheatgrass every day. Let's hope it's not quite as disghusting as last time, hehe. The testimonials from online seem pretty convincing, but I've come to realise that there's so much goddamn anecdotal evidence on the internet. It's hard to know what to believe.

Tomorrow I'm off to see a dental surgeon about getting 2 infected root canals and my wisdom teeth extracted under general anaesthetic. It's not something I'm looking forward to but apparently it has to be done. I have this weird feeling like I can feel a vein on the left hand side of my head sometimes and I hope it's not related. Maybe just paranoia? Although I've had this feeling for months now it seems.

Tonight is the first night that I sleep in near total darkness, since I got some dark coloured blinds installed finally!!!. w00t!

I think that's enough for now, I'm going to try update my thoughts on a daily basis (hahahaha, resolutions resolutions)